Expressions of the Wood Element
In Chinese Medicine, springtime is represented by the Wood Element.
The plants are sprouting, breaking through the earth, and growing. Each sprout is determined to fulfill its purpose, and has the motivation to grow into the dandelion or tomato plant or elm tree that it is destined to become.
Imagine the feeling of a sprout, unable to break through the surface of the earth and achieve its purpose. The sprout begins to grow, only to be stopped by the soil’s impenetrable crust. The sprout becomes frustrated, feels stuck, can’t find a path forward: this is the recipe for Anger.
Celebrate: Finally Learning to say No!
This month I reflect on what it means to say Yes and what it means to say No. What are we saying Yes to?
I am a recovering Yes-Man. I have spent many years of my life saying Yes to everyone and everything. In many ways, it has treated me well. I’ve said Yes to a great many opportunities, adventures, and experiences. Saying Yes has helped me to live fully and try things I wouldn’t have considered on my own.
However, when it comes to the needs and wants of others, I was conditioned to believe that No was a bad word, a selfish sentiment. Saying Yes to the needs of others feels good. We help; We support; We bend over backwards to selflessly make things happen. It’s the thing that Supermoms are made of. Our egos are filled by the appreciation of others.
And yet, I hadn’t realized the opportunity cost to saying Yes. When we say Yes to one thing, we are saying No to something else. If we aren’t careful, saying Yes to others can involve disconnecting from ourselves. We say No to our own needs and wants. Overtime, we lose the ability to know what we want. It is the ultimate betrayal: the betrayal of ourselves.
Why do we get so comfortable saying No to ourselves?